post-mortem
happy 2005 my dears..in abit :)
like everyone says whenever year end comes around..time flies..*cringe..scowl* ..i am glad for the new year cause even tho there really isnt anything symbolic about it...(i mean..wad really changes??) it's jus..an excuse for a change..i guess? like, it's more validated than any other day for change. i dun believe in resolutions..but, i appreciate the fact that everyone thinks the same way - tomorrow is a fresh start?? so like..i get the same lame ass opportunity/excuse as everyone else to make more mistakes..discover new ones..& repeat some old ones... did that make sense??
for what it's worth..i did learn stuff this year. about myself. about others. about how the world (does not) work. it's totally tragic the tsunami disaster had to happen so clsoe to new years..altho i noe there ISN'T a right time for something like that to happen...but. it seems more significant n devastating that it happened so close to a new year. i dunno..i really sympathize & feel for all those out there..all those who in one way or another were/are affected. that's a shitload of pain to have to go thru..what does it say about me tho, if i prefer to block it all out. i do feel for them. but do i have to try n put myself in their shoes? do i have to hear about how one mother had to deliver one son into the hands of death simply because he was older? i would far prefer to change the channel...scarily unfeeling & selfish huh.... could my saving grace be my attempt at honesty??