stuck in a moment i really like being able to talk to another person who seems to understand & relate to myself. maybe it's about being egoistical and self centered that's why i like having someone concur and reiterate my own views & opinions. but honestly, more than that, ive sorta grown really accustomed to having my mates ard & being able to have senseless mindless crap conversations with them...ive forgotten what it's like having a 'new fellow conversationist' (dat's really awkward & bad english but..sums up my meaning.)



ive been back 9 days & im running out of things to do. but it's so good being home, i dun really care if there's anything for me to do..i dun wanna leave. it's so good being in familiar, secure surroundings..this is where i wanna be. & it's in these surroundings that i find myself having 'moments'..'moments' where im so at ease & peace with myself..i feel like i have so much to say, but i jus cant get a word out. things i noe should be said. but i jus cant say them. i dun wanna risk or jeopardize things. it's instinctive. it's human. humour me.


i'll call it the "Long Island Tea syndrome" let me explain.....
i knew as i slurped 'the tea' that i should have stopped mid way or something. but i didnt. i jus kept going & shoved consequences to the back of my head. well, my "moments" are reversed in that, i noe i should begin; but i cant sum up enough courage & i honestly dunno where to start. so i jus. shut.up.
  ¶ 1:37 AM