anybody? do you ever jus feel like sitting in the dark, all alone. maybe you lie in bed. or you sit in a comfy chair and stick your head out of the window, and just watch the night. it's an oddly calming thing i like to do, when i've had a hard day. or times when i start to feel alittle hollow. i used to do that alot when i was younger. pop a BSB cd into the player & put the most tragic track on repeat for the next 90mins. i'd just sit in bed and think about everything that was going on in my life at the point. sometimes the words would just come and some fairly decent poetry would follow. but really, at 15, when is life not desolate.

i recently rediscovered this very cathartic and familiar position. plug into iPod & lie in bed, trying my darndest to fall asleep because im dead tired. but slumber just will not come. these days there actually seems to be more reason for all this reflecting and pondering. i guess life gets harder & there's no point getting all despondent or wistful. the dark can only stay my companion and refuge for so long. in a few hours, the sun will rise again and i wont be able to keep pretending that time took a break, and waited for me to catch up.

on a brighter note, i'm learning that you can still hide and sit quietly in your spot while the world goes on around you.  ¶ 7:25 PM