belle du jour
nothing to hold on to.
when the day is long, & the night
the night is yours alone
when u're sure u've had enough of this life
well hang on..
don't let urself hurt,
everybody cries & everybody hurts, sometimes
soemtimes everything is wrong
now it's time to sing along
when ur day is night alone, hold on hold on.
if u feel like letting go, hold on
when u think u've had too much of this life, well hang on
everybody hurts
take comfort in ur friends
everybody hurts
dont' throw ur hand.
oh no, don't throw ur hand.
if u feel like u're alone, no no no, u're not alone.
if u're on ur own in this life, the days & nights are long
when u think u've had too much of this life, hold on
well everybody hurts sometimes
everybody cries
& everybody hurts sometimes
so hold on.
showdown
i think baby face is really brilliant..yet, calvin klein could use him as spokesperson for 'contradiction'...*hmm lOOk*..bf writes incredibly breath taking stuff..and he seems to noe what he's talking about sometimes. he's down with it Xp. so realistic it cant be for real. then he goes and does something ultra hyperbolic, melodramatic & unreal, in all its sense. it jus sends my perception of him tumbling down. not like he'd care at all what i think of him la...*puuftt* not even sure im in any position to be 'critique-ing' him. well, i am entitled to my opnions.
i think he is quite brilliant.
baby right
how come, how long
it's not right, it's so wrong
do we let it jus go on
turn our backs & carry on
wake up it's too late
right now, we can't wait
she won't have a second try
open up your hearts
as well as your eyes
baby talk
sometimes love can feel like
the closest thing to heaven
& sometimes love can feel like
u've been run over by a car, yes it can
it's the strangest thing i noe
make you feel warm when u cold
& if you down on happiness
you better get used to the taste of sadness
cos love can sure hurt sometimes
love hurts & it don't
love don't always work
love ain't all it seemes
it feels good but it stinx
love hurts but it don't
some pple will tell you
it's the best thing for the heart
yes what they fail to tell ya
it can tear your life apart
but u noe
winded me
tis a really dreaful day..thank goodness i dun have anymore classes..it's reeeally windy and it's hailing..well, it was earlier this morning. but i dun see how anyone could walk along the streets and not get blown away..haha..told elaine she could do a mary poppins if she wanted to, hang onto my brolly and jus direct it in the correct angle to get blown to uni..say byebye to public transportation..hahaha..she didnt take to well to my suggestion tho..hahaha :)
anyways..keeping my fingers crossed that the weather gets better, this is too condusive for sleeping which does not work well with my plan to start studying..bahH..at least it isnt
THAT cold, jus way way too windy Xp..yepP, so...am gonna try studying..urghh....cant believe it's almost november, and the exams start in like a few days..laine has 1 week and i have 12days..woW..that's pretty quick..tis all goOd thoO...can go home sooner....
lucky sister's going to hongkong on fri...bleahh..i wanna go shopping too..hope she gets my shopping list..hahaha...altho she'll probably claim she never got it...oh well..it's okay i guess, since she's giving me a super big christmas pressie, i shant hold anything against her..haha..i'm too lucky too lucky...*grin grin*
i'll be
i'll be captivated,
i'll hang from your lips,
instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above..
had the last lecs for a couplea of my subjects today..no more tutes, no more lecs..dassit..here come the exams..oh well..it's quite sad actually...the criminology department is i dare say, the Best department ard...no exams for most crim subjs, when there r exams, there's a buffet of exam hints..funny tutors, sarcastic lecturers, & best of all, they're all a buncha alcoholics..hahaha...i had 3 'last tutorials' in pubs @ like 2 in the afternoon?? and as earli as 10 in the morning..hahahaha..we went over past yr exam qns with bottles of beer in hand, sponsored by the tutor who brought us there..hahaha..it's how awesome??...haha..and each time we got a qns right, we'd get rewarded with a basket of crackers..hahaha..i mean, never would that happen anywhere else i reckon..haha..ive encountered my tutors at clubs when they're tipsy & ive faced them sober & embarassesd the nex day, in tutes...
i remember one day, while my frens and i were having lunch in the student room, one of the tutors came in and bought something from the candy vending machine. but the mechanism screwed up and her toblerone got stuck mid way..so she gathered all of us and we tilted, shook, banged, kicked slammed the darn machine till her choc bar fell out. then. we shook, banged & kicked somemore to get free candy, and we all plonked on the floor, eating the candy...another time it was so hot in the tute room, we adjourned to the balcony, took off our shoes/slippers..and we had an impromptu picnic there & then..haha..my tutor raided the staff room fridge to get the picnic going..best thing is, my tutor's the head of department for criminology!! hahaha..so no one could complain even if they wanted to..which didnt happen la, everyone jus waved and stole food from us when they walked by...it's first class
purest of pains
jus watched 'the notebook'..downloaded off limewire..it rox man..limewire & the movie..
i reeeally really liked the flick..it's the first movie i've thoroughly enjoyed in awhile..tis on my list of favourite movies now..nope, aint a chick flick..quite sad actually..yea, tear jerker...but..it was good..no fancy effects and all that..jus a good solid plot -dat's wad i thought at least-..touched me for some reason.some obscure reason. i related to it..haha..dunno why since i havent really had an experience of that magnitude..everyone should go see it..i wanna watch it again..in fact i wanted to start from the beginning the moment the credits started rolling..i wanted to start all over again...it's very sad actually...some might reckon the ending was good, like, a 'happily ever after' thing..but i dun think so..jus..GO WATCH IT!!! everybody!!! go go go....
& once u have, lemme noe what you think. im dying to talk to somebody about it.
I feel so light
This is all I want to feel tonight
I feel so light
Tonight and the rest of my life
Gleaming in the dark sea
I'm as light as air
Floating there breathlessly
When the dream dissolves I open up my eyes
I realize that
Everything is shoreless sea
A weightlessness is passing over me
Everything is waves and stars
The universe is resting in my arms
yummylicious..smith; sex & the city..always knew he was cute..but when he walked down the red carpet with samantha, with his shaven head...*drroooooL* -this pic doesnt do him justice-..but..it was the sweetest thing he did..it was Past sweet..it was The thing to do...then again..it was also fiction..
oh yeaa...
at my fren's place now..his bday thing..haha..laine & i set up a bbq all by ourselves..i mean we set up the ENTIRE it..like we set it up, screws and all...AND we started the fire too..-whoaa moment- haha.but yea..been chilling the whole day..really good..
anyways..
Thanx for the advice cali!! hehe..much better than how some pple hjus laugh their heads off..-humphh to you meanie mouse- hehehe...hMm...yea..so, tis partying nmore fun tonight..jus hanging at his place now...good clean fun...not gonna get drunk..nah uh..me be a good girl now :)
love love you pple...have a good weekend :)
given up..
i cant find the words to describe my exact state of mind right now.
so the story goes..there was once this gurl..-who shall remain nameless- who got really frustrated dat kazaa kept dying on her, so she decided to uninstall and then reinstall it!! easy peasy!! no problemo!! she has the cow sense -which isnt very much u've figured..- to copy her 'shared folder' into somewhere else, so that when she uninstalls kazaa, she doesnt lose all her songs..Genius huh! ladedum..dat done, she uninstalls kazaa. and then reinstalls it. all goes well until she discovers! -gasp- it doesnt reinstall properly!! hence, she goes thru the Whole un/re install crap a couplea times...till she realizes....nothing's working..and she aint getting kazaa back..therefore & thus, she has resigned herself to a life, totally cut off from the music world -which is fuelled by the fact that there aint a radio in her apartment!!-..for a while..
arrrggghhhh...well, only consolation is i found someone to reformat (?) my laptop for me...haha..he's got the external hard drive (?) (did i mention my A drive is screwed up too?? ha) which works cos i dun have a burner so i cant back up my stuff...and i dunno what else la....I HATE COMPUTERS!!!! thank you calvin!! my saviour..haha, yes, my favouritest...for now..hahaha :)
playing hooky
sunny days are here again -pray i didnt jus jinx the weather- am ready n looking forward to the sun...have missed it So...gonna hop on home now..ditching my last 2 tutes for the day...i jus hope i manage to slip out if the building without getting spotted by any of my tutors..hahaha...*sneaky spider time*
avril speak
cos i'm feeling nervous
i'm tryin 2 b so perfect
cos i noe u're worth it
u're worth it
yea
it dun do me any good
it's jus a waste of time
wad use is it 2 u
wad's on my mind
if it ain't coming out
we're not going anywhere
so why can't i jus tell u dat i care
-hmm...-
STI
i can't believe i'm actually registering with Straits Times Interactive..all to view some article on 'Arsenal the SunShine Boys'? not even for LiverpooL man!!! *tSKtSk* -ugh-
look what you've done
Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won...
provoke
am currently working on my final assignment for the semester. & i'm really ticked off. only consolation is knowing that i guess i have learnt something these past months.
i picked a topic on juve justice. in my opinion it's more like the lack of it. i jus cannot fathom or accept the fact that there are kids out there being sucked into the macabre, bleak, depressing world of vice & immorality & criminality. all becos their parents are too darned pre-occupied Contributing to it. i noe im probably being too judgemental & presumptious & disdainful. but i jus cannot grasp the reality that kids' lives r gettin messed up because of their parents. they who should be guarding & protecting & fending for their offspring. im very fortunate & i noe it. mayb that's why i can't see things from another perspective. but then again. should there even be the other perspective? one where parents sit on pavements all day, stoned, sloshed, too out of the world to do anything for their kids....?? it's. Tragic
on my way home today, i saw 2 kids - about 8 or 9, standing by their dad, asking for food. the dad pointed to the nearest bin, told them to stop bugging him & piss off. and he started a rampage on how his kids weren't worth as much as the trash in the bin. the look on his kid's faces made me feel like crying. on the spot. my heart totally went out to them. it was anger.frustration. & knowledge that my parents have done heaps for me. so much i dun noe if i'll ever be able to repay them for it. i've only got so this much time & they've devoted their entire lives to mine. i noe they've given me & done all they can. yet i have the audacity to go on about how they nag. i'm pretty sure those kids i saw today, would in an instant have a parent. any parent. jus someone who could provide. someone they can depend on. someone who would show the shadiest amount of concern & love for them.
i got the kids mackers. thatssit. but the way their faces lit up. it said so much. like before that instant, they never felt they were worth anything. they were never made to feel anything. they were never a reason for anyone to do anything for them. if only they knew. i wanted to cry! but in front of 2 kids, who posses more courage than i ever could, i knew my place & it wasnt to cry for them. they werent crying over or for themselves. who was i to.
how i wish i
wish i'd done alittle bit more
now shoulda woulda coulda means i'm out of time
shoulda woulda coulda can't change your mind
& i wonder
wonder what i'm gonna do
shoulda woulda coulda are the last words of a fool
if i would not forsake
the opportunities at stake
i noe im right where i belong
but sometimes when im not that strong
i wish i..
wish i'd done alittle bit more
now shoulda woulda coulda means im out of time
shoulda woulda coulda cant change ur mind
& i wonder
wonder what im gonna do...
shoulda woulda coulda are the last words of a fool
superstylin..
ooOhh..i like my new blog's look..haha..& from the looks of it..im not the only one..guyss...get a Grip..haha..oh well, yesh, jo noes all about how i wanna marry gisele..hahahaha..well, not Really really..but she's jus like
incredibly beeaaauuutifoool & only 24!! & im being insanely superficial *pout* -now u noe the depth of my 'shallow-ness' *grin*-..was going thru a couplea websites to find a pic where she was clothed in more material than a hanky...and that would fit in that box without her looking too elongated or squashed..and she was.
jus.so.gorgeous.in all of them..
her.bod.Rox.
was watching tv b4, & i heard like, explosions..little ones..but they were followed by bursts of colour..?? ala fireworks..so i ran out to the balcony (okay..it took all of 5 quick steps)..and saw neighbours from across the road, running to the middle of the road and like, setting MAJOR sparklers off..so cool!! i actually ran to get my phone to record it..haha..but it turned out all black la, cept for sounds n bursts of colour; pink & green & blue...haha..it made me really happy though
*biiig silly smile*...reminded me of new year countdowns..
thought back on the past few new year's and where i spent them...then it made me sad...new year's days are like..so significant -to me at least-...i cant decide if i wan them to mark the end or beginning...2004 has been, to say the least, interesting...i remember my 2004 new year's..it was a good day..i think the more new years one gets thru...the more one realizes, it isnt about the partying n getting smashed..but about the company & jus spending time together, to mark the coming of more shared experiences..it sorta signifies that there'll be more such get togethers and more bonding to come..when i'm at one new year's i tend to look back on the last one..and think back of how much has happened. what has changed..
but u noe wad...i've learnt alot this year..(i noe it hasnt ended yet..indulge me) but im also looking forward to all else that is to come..i've wised up abit, i'd like to think..realized that Life is gonna be Life..it doesnt ease up jus cause im having a hard time..i've jus gotta suck it up n go on....& that's okay..
the way you do the things you do
u got a smile so bright, u know u could've been a candle
i'm holding you so tight, u know u could've been a handle
the way u swept me off my feet, u know u could've been a broom
& babe u smell so sweet, u know u could've been some perfume...
well u could've been anything that u wanted 2 i can tell,
the way u do the things u do..
as pretty as u are, u know u could've been a flower,
if good looks were minutes, u know u could've been an hour,
the way you stole my heart, u know u could've been a crook,
& baby u're so smart, u know you could've been a school book..
u make my life so rich, u know u could've been some money,
& baby u're so sweet, u know u could have been some honey..
well u could've been anything that u wanted 2 i can tell,
the way u do the things u do..
amnesty was slacking off
sighhh...
sighh........
*relief...*
have finally settled me blog..after being told by a
not-very-nice-person-that-i-shall- call-meanie mouse..i feel heaps better...really like this blog..heh.....and i did away with the tag board cause like..it didnt fit in the 'box'..and didnt look very nice :p..anyways..my eyes really hurt now from staring at those funny codes and all...*sHUddeR*
another week's gone by. *yeayy* ...2 weeks of uni left..*taps foot* not quite going by quick enough..but..hey..better than nothing..jus keeep goOooing =p...have re-confirmed my flight..ha ha ha ha..im not telling *wink* hahaha..i love this u noe...surprising u guys..hehehe..and this time, i dare do this cause i'll be back for heaps longer....& will have more time to meet up with you peeps :) won't get scolded for doing things last minute -again- heeee...
Xp
ogay..i think i'm gonna settle on this..have given up on the tag board..sorry folks..tis back to good ol comments :) not sure if this is gonna work...*crossed fingers*..i like the whole concept of this template..?? like..it's kindda pretty..and soothing..and blue *grin*..haha..my love for blue is back with a vengence...haha...
stand by me
if the sky that we look upon, should tumble and fall,
and the mountain should crumble to the sea..
i wont cry,
i wont shed a tear
jus as long as u stand by me
whenever im in trouble
wont u stand by me..
____________________________________________
the ringing silence is muted by deafening voices.
imprinted in my head.
it plays - once & again & once & again.
the words they quell my fears.hurts.insecurities.
no longer is there dread or despair in solitude.
for i'm never deserted.
i know im precious. if not to you.
Always.Always to Him.
____________________________________________
:: twinkle twinkle my little star :) ::
soO..which will it be clownz?? or should i say SUPER clownz?? hMM?? cmon..pick one..dunch ke qi with me ya..hahaha..personally? i reeeaaally like the eeyore twins..u got anyone to share with?? haha..altho i think the pikachu one suits you da bESt..uh huh!! :) hahaha..then again..dun lemme stop you..dun wanna cramp ya style..haha..pick anyone that catches your eye..then you can quit bugging me about the where abouts of ya supersuit..hahahaha
satisfaction
i can get my..satisfaction
oh yea...i love the feel of freshly printed paper..flooded with words...i love the knowledge that i've one more assignment out of the way..the tangible evidence i grip in my hand is such sweet sweet satisfaction...haha..bit bian tai..but..it's like..my stress level goes down and my joy-o-meter creeps up those few bits...haha...
it's a warm monday...the air is still..but it's sunny and nice..it's only 1pm and i feel fulfilled already...going to hop off to the gym to release more happy endorphines..haha..joy-o-meter watch out...
i live the life i have. like it or not.
do di do...
you aint keeping me up all night, no more,
you're not here but it's okay,
i assure you babe it's alright
you aint keeping me up all night
you're not here, but it's okay!!
something else is keeping me up...
la de dum de dum de dum...sunday morning!! well afternoon..had a really rough night...went to bed about 3:30am..at about 5 elaine came back - drunk with other drunk accompaniments..cripE..like, 4 other pple who looked totally sloshed..they had the usual look - pasty, blood shot eyes and they talk
VERY loudly..absolutely pissees me off everytime she comes home drunk with her friends..they're totally inconsiderate!!! *arghh* doesnt help they can't run quite quick enough and end up emptying their dinner into the kitchen sink, instead of the toilet - a mere 5 steps away?? but i've been there and i noe how it feels, every extra unnecessary step is like, going from one camp to another on everest....bleahH...i should be more tolerant..and patient..but i can't stand inconsiderate pple..& there was this 1 dude..new face, didnt recognize him..but he was the most vocal & obnoxious...could hear him bragging about some nonsensical matter no one, even in their stupor, was interested in. i noe cause i kept hearing him yell "listen!!!" he should've jus zipped it...
i was very tempted to HELP him..
anyways..finally managed to fall asleep albeit the retching noises thru the popiah skin-thin walls...sun was already up & at work...5hrs later, i'm up and trying to work..laine's not home, reckon she left with them last night/this morning...oh well!!! i'll hear all about her night later today...
the 2 weeks back in singapore probably cleaned up my liver a fair bit..didnt touch alcohol at all, cept the morning brunch beer, mid-afternoon irish coffee & champagne to wash dinner down with......hahahahahaha!! no hard liquor...quite impressed with myself..hahahaha...jokeS.....
THE POINT IS...i've been in their shoes, so i should be a tad more understanding...everyone gets a lil crazy (or sleepy) when they get tipsy....and i AM sharing the apartment..so laine has her prerogative to bring her friends home too..dunno if i have a case...hmmM...oh well, exams and all coming up, so i guess these nights'll be a rare occurrence *pheww*..
another pic i found...see how happy we were..hahahaha..and tad bit spaz huh..?
i think that's how the date is written in like, chinese?? as in that format..? haha...i dunno man...
re-discovered one of my favouritest songs...
: :
i learned alot of tricks to help me live my life, you helped me find my paradise,
when you came, you were like,
sunshine thru my window, that's what you are..
my shining star...
making me feel, im on top of the world
telling me i'll go far...
looking at the world in the optimistic light, you made me appreciate my life
you are the calm and i am the storm
you are the breeze that carries me on
you're there for me.... : :
there you go, my sunshine!! :)
if you come to me
i totally forgot..wanted to blog about my flight back...it was quite terrible actually, really packed, and kept getting jostled ard in the aisle..but the crux is:
i was sitting along the aisle, and there was this elderly caucasian
-possibly greek/italian- couple on my left...they got there before me and were already quarreling when i got to my seat, also they were both quite big and would've been more comfy with 3 seats between the 2 of them. but anyways, the guy was beside me and simply jus
'crossed the unspoken divider, bound by the arm rest which he conveniently lifted up and did not put back down'..anyways, i was really bummed cause in addition to having to share my seat, the movies and all were exactly the same as when i was flying to spore; and i had gone thru them already..plus, my ipod ran out of batt, so i had zilch entertainment..-gaspP- hence!! i was reduced to sleeping and writing and thinking..anyways, the wife watches the movies with the volume turned on full blast, which is fine, cause it isnt THAT loud. but whenever she spoke to her husband, she had to shout to hear herself, so i'd jump everytime she started to say something..was quite funny
-bear in mind this was the night flight, alot of other passengers kept getting jolted out of their sleep by her, honest- the guy would at this point turn to her and tell her to lower her volume :)..i thought, this was a couple, ala Ray Ramano's parents...
but
when meals were served, i noticed the guy opening the utensils packet and giving it to his wife before she said anything..and when she decided she didnt like her red wine, he swapped her without a word..he helped her remove her earphones when she fell asleep halfway thru the movie..and when he fell asleep, she shifted in her seat and sat upright placing the miserable cushion on her shoulder, so he could rest on her. jus, little little things..
but it's the little things that mean the most ain't it....??
maybe it's jus me being - sappy. but i think they were really sweet. like after all these years, when they're so old and could wriggle out of being romantic..they still kindda are, in their own way..underneath the squabbles, they're like, a young couplea, very much in love.
sweet.
i love my friends!! my arty and PS fwens!! gorgeous gorgeous people, inside & out -muahmuah-
be thankful
i'm Happy. i really am. and im quite contented. with the way life is right now. it's settled down heaps. i feel like i can resume my life again, and go on with all i have to do. it wasnt that i couldnt before. but thnigs change as they always do, and i've met a fork in the road, and am embarking on a new path. i now have better grasp of what it means when one door closes another opens. it's something that's bound to happen i guess, if the other door hasnt opened, i guess the previous one hasnt been closed. i dun wanna think about being stuck in the middle or if both doors are open and im conveniently ignoring the plausibility that both might be shut at the same time.
-im trying to have faith in the fact that that doesnt happen-.
ive been told everything happens for a reason. i dun quite see The Reason as yet, but i noe it'll come. have had a
very good time, catching up with all my mates...have reminded me that they're the best la..really. *hug hug hug*. it's amazing how we can all pick up where we left off. then again, they're the kind of friends that never 'left off' at all.
im supremely lucky. :)
Change never ceases to amaze me
.
so. thus. im off, back to melbourne. to return soon. very soon. and i cannot wait to come back, to my support system that never shuts down.
:) have a lot of parties planned ;) i'm 21 and loving it.
ps: happy belated birthday che!!
deliberation
i dunno..i really don't. i'm not sure about anything anymore. maybe that's okay..? u think? too many things have taken place that i never thought would. as shaken as my reality is, i have sense that i do have to carry on, as if nothing's happened. im shaken, shocked, in denial maybe. but it'll fall in place. eventually, i noe. jo reminded me. His grace will come. always. each brand new day, He renews His grace for me and hence, i can carry on. that gives me courage. and Hope. something i never thought i'd find. yet.
i think im kindda happy now. im trying to find out who i am. jus as me. and not in relation to anyone else. it's tough. and it scares the shit out of me. sometimes i feel like im left flailing. and i dunno how long it'll take before i find my footing and am able to stand firmly again? -that make sense?- it's tiring struggling. but i noe it's something i've gotta do.
i still harbour hope. hope in
people. hope in you. not for anything in particular. but jus that i noe you did what you had to. and you should. we all have somehting we have to fulfill. something we have to accomplish. and im glad you've found yours. cause i wouldnt wan you to go thru life aimlessly, wandering, wondering. i dun wan you to be hounded by 'what-ifs'.
please go. go and be Happy :) for me too. i look forward to the future. i look forward to everything else that awaits. it's scary cause it's a mighty big world out there. but i noe i wont' be alone, cause i've got you. and you noe, you've got me. :). anytime. for anything. :). still feel sorry for my wrongdoings. to you. at your expense. at our expense. that's my only regret i guess. and it wont change. cause i'll never noe now. what it could have been.
had a good dinner with minyi yesterday. discovered i've gotta sweeter tooth than even you!! haha...we really have to go for more dessert excursions, ya?? haha..and shop more..definitely!! in nov!! hehe..here or melb or sydney!!! so cooL..heh..more coffee-ing too ya :)..you're like, a damn sweet gal ogay..in your own way. not the typical -puke- sweet. but sweet, nonetheless..haha..will keep a lookout for hotties for you..dun worry :)..especially that one huh..hahahaha..i remember his name!!!! :P haha..i love ya babes..no matter what la..okay?? :) i wanna watch you grow up..haha..rememebr, i gotta approve the dudes you go out with ah!! haha..altho from our dinner/coffee conversation, i reckon i can trust you..haha..muahmuah..